I am somebody.

I love my church.  I can't seem to make it there every week for one reason or another, but every time I go there I feel at home, at peace, welcomed and loved.  I love that I've finally found my place of community, a place where I fit in.  At first I didn't feel like I was an important member there, everyone already seemed to know each other, and in a largely older aged congregation I felt like I had nothing in common with anyone else (aside from believing in the values and ideas of Unitarian Universalism).  But I was wrong.  I do belong there, I am important.  People there know who I am, they know my kids, they ask how I'm doing and genuinely want to know the answer.  They want to include me in church events, they miss me when I'm not there on Sunday.  The older ladies always want to love on Calliope (and she loves to make their day with a toothless grin!), and there are other families who we sit near almost every week.  I am so glad that I chose to join this church!
Today the song at the end of service hit me particularly hard, it actually made me cry as I sang it.  I have been feeling depressed and alone lately, partially situational and partially hormonal/postpartum I'm sure, but either way, it sucks.  And there are very few places where it feels safe to reach out and say that.  But today, it was like they read my mind, they read my soul, and they knew what I needed to hear.  That I am more than my depressed thoughts, that I am important, that I am somebody.  I feel so uplifted this afternoon!
Here's the lyrics to the hymn, you can also youtube it and watch different choirs sing it, but I didn't find one that was nearly as good as the way our church did it today, so I'd rather just leave you with the lyrics instead :)

There’s a River Flowing in My Soul
There’s a river flowing in my soul (in my soul)
There’s a river flowing in my soul (in my soul)
And it’s telling me that I’m somebody
There’s a river flowing in my soul
There’s a river flowing in my heart (in my heart)
There’s a river flowing in my heart (in my heart)
And it’s telling me that I’m somebody
There’s a river flowing in my heart
There’s a river flowing in my mind (in my mind)
There’s a river flowing in my mind (in my mind)
And it’s telling me that I’m somebody
There’s a river flowing in my mind
There’s a river flowing in my soul (in my soul)
There’s a river flowing in my soul (in my soul)
And it’s telling me that I’m somebody
There’s a river flowing in my soul